dare, double dare, physical challenege

About 3 years ago, while high on protein, I propositioned the folks at Hoss Fest to partake in the President’s Challenge. The very same President’s Challenge you partook in grade school. Needless to say it never happened, but what would have happened if it did.

Now lets meet the contestants.

Grant: 6’-5” 162 fighting pounds, known for his skills on the court and for bleaching our carpet, fully carbo loaded on pasta.

Eric: 6’-3” 2?? fighting pounds, incredible veteran savvy, first ever platinum hoss.

Evan: 5’-8” 150 fighting pounds, incredibly agile, aggressive like a baboon in heat.

Brandon: 6’-1” 180 fighting pounds, devastatingly pretty, coined the phrase “look good and play good”.

Nanni: 5’-11” 165 fighting pounds, quick witted, slow footed, the brahma bull.

Ruben: 5’-8” 145 fighting pounds, more quick than fast yet slowed by intestinal issues.

The Events:

Mile Run: Eric, the former cross country star, elects to sit this one out, instantly getting 1 point. Evan takes the early lead, followed by Brandon, Nanni, Ruben, and Grant. Just as lap 2 begins, Brandon’s head band is dislodged from his head and he has to quit the race (2). Grant’s ginormous strides keep it close throughout, but Evan (6) wins it, followed by Grant(5), Nanni(4), and Ruben(3).

Sit and Reach: The shorter people have no chance as Grant easily takes this competition. Nanni known for his high-kicks comes in a respectable 3^rd, while Ruben’s famously tight hamstrings and restless leg syndrome drops him to last. Grant (6), Brandon (5), Nanni(4), Eric(3), Evan (2), Ruben (1).

Pull-ups: Grip strength, and the fact that he’s pulling up less weight than anybody else throws Ruben into a easy victory (6). Grants 2 pull-ups (2) passes only Eric’s none (1). Brandon (3) who tries to convince people he was once buff, is notorious for canceling out on gym sessions. Nanni (5) and Evan (4), demonstrate amazing back strength, each besting the total they put up in 4^th grade.

Shuttle Run: Arguably the most fun event, this contest tests your change of direction ability. Grant (3), Ruben(5), Evan(6), Brandon(4), and Nanni(2) all put up incredible times. Eric (1) the consummate vet, prefers the head fake.

Sit-Ups: Up against the clock, Brandon kicks out 42 in one minutes time to take in 5^th place (2). Ruben, (1) the events favorite, has to use the rest room after cranking out 20 and is excused from the competition. Grant amazingly takes first (6), the other contestants look a hot mess as they finish up Evan (5), Eric surges from nowhere to take 3^rd (4), Nanni (3).

Results:

Evan: 23

Nanni: 18

Grant: 22

Brandon: 16

Eric: 10

Ruben: 16