Thursday, August 30, 2007

big tree fall hard...

This is part 2 of 2 part series on the Economics of life.

Laissez-faire - an injunction against government interference with trade, it became used as a synonym for strict free market economics

I have a laissez-faire relationship with Wendy. I let her do what she wants without interference. Because, the market functions fine left alone to her own devices. Interference will knock the market out equilibrium, and when the market is out of equilibrium, there is a surplus of cold shoulder.

A wild horse should never be caged.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

economics of decisions...

This is part 1 of 2 part series on the Economics of life.

Generally speaking, my brain operates in perfect market conditions, no chance for arbitrage. I make all my daily decisions in accordance with the basic principles of micro-economics.

Micro-economics as I’m sure you are aware consists of a Supply curve and a Demand curve. It’s easy to make one right at home with your arms. Make an X with your arms in front of your body. Your left arm is the Supply Line, your right arm is the Demand Line.

You know how this works, where the 2 lines cross is optimal quantity at your optimal price.

But this is how I see it my mind.

My Dad wants me to mow the lawn. He has a strong demand for lawn mowing, this shift your Demand curve to the right.

However, I have a very low supply of give a damn. Since I don’t give a damn, my Supply curve shifts way left.

What occurs is a market inefficiency, and a pounding.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

in the form of a question...

For the rest of the week, I will be asking questions via intonation only. This is not an attack on Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How. Rather it is a test, or a Vision Quest.

Don't you understand.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

fast food rappers...

This is the story, the true story, of 2 guys, who tried skip college and become rappers.

For those readers who are not aware, your boi Nanni and I in high school were budding rap superstars. As resident gangstas of Hillsborough High School, we often wrote lyrics in class. It was pretty much fun and games. That was until I saved up over $400 from my after-school job and bought a turntable, mixer, microphone, and some classic records. At that time, I could not afford the second turn table, and it was another 4 months of so until I was able to buy that.

It was at this time that I began using the moniker DJ 2Scoopz. Nanni went by many slightly lame rap names until settling on Dirty Wordz (an homage to Ol' Dirty Bastard). We began recording some tracks, Nanni could really ride the beat, he spit hot flame, believe it. I was kind of abstract(read Beastie Boyesque), and I also scratched on the tracks. We dubbed ourselves Hawstage Sityiashun (phonetically southern spelling of Hostage Situation) and created our label as Rent-a-Cop Records, named after a ridiculously good headlock I would put people in. (see below for sample lyrics)

Amongst the songs we put out was one 8 minute long anthem called Doin it in da Butt (against our better judgment). We later got in trouble when a 9th grade Todd and a 7th grade Leah were found listening to it by their parents.

Fast forward a few months, we had put all our songs on Napster for our friends to download. One day out of blue, I got an Email from a guy from Nu-Era Records, he had heard our songs and was interested in signing us. We spoke on the phone a few more times, I gave him some more of our lyrics. He was interested in signing and putting us on his compilation album, it was a mix-tape of all Tampa rappers. He was telling us to come up with more material for a solo album. We had dubbed our first EP Mofos in Space (see cover art below). A meeting was set up at Wendy’s Restaurant. Yes, a lot of rappers got their big break Dave Thomas’ establishments.

We get to school, the next day, and the whole school is buzzing. People are coming up to us and congratulating us and all that jazz. So, later that week Nanni and I go to the meeting. It’s scheduled for 5:00, we show up at quarter till. 5:00 hits, and nothing 5:15, and nothing. 5:30 hits, and nothing but by this time our Biggie Frostees are empty and things are looking bleak. We waited till 6:00 but nobody showed up and we dipped.

A few days later the dude called and apologized, I let it slide, but I was becoming more suspicious. He set up another meeting, this time at a McDonald’s (Honest, you can’t make this stuff up) located in the heart of the ghetto. I went alone this time. As you have guessed the Brus didn’t show up. We gave up on it.

Fast forward like 10 months, I’m in my Beatty Towers dorm room and I get a call. It’s the Brus. He was calling to tell me that the record we were supposed to be on had come out and wanted to talk about another album. I looked it up online and found it. It was on one of those websites where you could listen to 30 second snippets of the songs. 4 of the 5 songs I could listen to were awful, but 1 was a real banger. They pretty much all had to with drugs, hos, and 20 inch rims. A couple months later I was back in Tampa and visited a local FYE retailer and found the CD. College pretty much took over our lives, and we slowly quit writing dope raps.

Lyrics from 1983 Born (2Scoopz)

I don’t care if you,
The feds, the DA, the DEA or Cool-aid,
Cause im gonna bust out,
I come up like a wet dream,
And end up pissing myself.
Its ok you don’t rap well,
Cause you gotta pretty mouth,
Your favorite rapper is me,
Come on no doubt,
I go hard at the battle,
Call me the man Sid Vicious,
Pour ketchup on me,
Now call me delicious,
I put my bare ass on the floor,
Than scratch till it itches,
I steal moneys from myself,
Than sit back to count the riches,
But my pancakes will never go broke,
Cause I got 80 grand stuffed in a box of bis-quick,
So why the hell do you wanna run in this sh*t,
The biscuit,
You know I don’t bake,
Came in for some pie,
But I left with the cake.

Lyrics from Doin it in da Butt (Dirty Wordz)

Ladies in the place yo its time to shake,
Booty gotta quiver like a California quake,
Make no mistake and don't try to fake,
Dirty Wordz spits the rhymes that are sweeter than cake,
Do it in the da butt, flip it like a pancake,
Got the junk in the trunk that makes the necks break.
Snap Bang Crackle and Pop,
Once you started in the butt, you know you cant stop,
Feeling kinda kinky so I use a riding crop,
Then I smack it in the back till the Ho yell stop
If other raps make the kids do drugs,
This record drop will have kids grindin of the rugs,
So grind with me,
Rewind with me,
Do it in the butt, get intertwined with me,
Break the six foot rule, get fined with me,
Do it in the butt, shake that behind with me.

Friday, August 17, 2007

crime and punishment...

This whole Mike Vick thing is just depressing. He got caught up in some totally messed up ish and it looks like he’s going to be doing some time in slammer. He’s killed dogs, he’s killed his career, and when he gets out he’ll be killing defenses in the CFL.

I have been watching all the so-called experts on TV debating whether or not Vick should take the plea or stand trial. It’s a silly debate to me, they are skirting the real issue here, and that real issue is Precrime.

We’ve all seen Minority Report, hell, I went opening weekend with Shelby Radloff. What we have to do is stop dumbasses like Vick before he commits the crime.

The scene is like this: Vicks in the corner booth of some sleezy night club, skanks dancing all around, talking to his boi. He’s all “Hey Brus, I think we should fight puppies for cash.” At that very moment some Sinead O’Connor looking chick shakes and a skeeball comes thru a tube and falls into the lap of Tom Cruise (Not crazy in love Tom Cruise, but sword wielding Last Samurai Tom Cruise).

Before Vick can even light up a joint, Pre-Crime Cops descend on the club, Samurai Cruise and his boys bust thru the window, skanks flee from the broken glass, and Vick is zip tied and arrested before any animals are harmed. Vick's high priced lawyers are able to get him off with just probation, and little boys and big fat guys everywhere are able to keep wearing their Falcon Jerseys.

forgiveness is godliness...

My apologies to those of you regularly check this blog(Wendy, Nanni, and I think McNeezy) for the lack of updates in the past 18 days, but I have been super busy finissant vers le haut de mon internat, les appartements mobiles, conduisant des 17 pieds u-transportent long, visitant Atlanta, et écrivant ma thèse vingt-quatre heures sur vingt-quatre. Est ce qui meulage?(Yup thats French).

To make it up to you, my only readers, here are some things that are funny, unlike this blog.

Babies Dressed as Vegetables

Mr. Bean

Flight of the Conchords

Vh1's I hate my 30's

gators on the grind

There is a simple reason why your Florida Gators are back to back to back to front to side National Champions, the $8 million coaching staff are total Grinders.

"Donovan, the gregarious 42-year-old grinder from New York's Long Island, understands the direction of his friend's conversation. But the concept of reducing workload is something he can't quite wrap his closely cropped head around: "I'm a total extremist. I'm not very good at balancing. Sometimes I catch myself and say, 'Whoa, what am I doing?' "

Billy D in the triple threat, Urbs vulnerable to the backside spin & post

Grind hard, Grill hard - Let the guy with 2 rings do all the cooking

with great powers comes...

So tonight I'm watching the Carson Daly Show(don't ask) and he makes some random joke about a new Rambo movie coming out. My ears perked up like I didn't hear him right, keep in mind I really haven't paid any attention to anything Carson has said since he was introducing Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" as the number two video on TRL.

I digress, anyway, how old is Stallone. He just put out a not so good Rocky and now an even worse Rambo, the man is like 65. Than I got thinking who else is that old and still being all super hero, that Indiana Jones brus Harrison Ford, also 65. Its incredible, how do they expect us to buy into the plot of these movies when the main characters are played by AARP members. Then it came to me, these movies are both based on the same underlying principle...yes folks I'm talking about Dad Strength.

Dad Strength, for those that have been living under a rock, is the innate ability of a man who has fathered children to have super human mite well beyond what his physical frame should bear. It's normally seen in everyday life. For example, you're struggling to carry your 80lb bag of salt from the trunk to the water softener all the while your Pops is effortlessly carrying two of those things one over each shoulder(he's laughing at you too). Name any physical task, your old man can totally one up you at it. What's crazy is that if you and your father were to take part in some sort of strength competition, say the bench press or arm curls, you would totally whoop his ass; only confounding the phenomena.

Now my Dad turns 54 on Tuesday, do I think he can free Burma (Rambo), beat down Antonio Tarver (Rocky), or fight off Russians for control of Area 51(Jones..seriously the plot), hell to the no. But, you should see how many 2x4s my old man can carry.